You write a message explaining your idea. It makes perfect sense to you.
You send it.
The other person replies: "I don't understand what you mean."
You read your message again. It still makes perfect sense. You said exactly what you were thinking.
That is the problem.
What your brain did
Your ADHD brain does not think in straight lines. It thinks in leaps.
You start at point A. Your brain instantly sees the connection to point E. The path is obvious to you because your brain filled in B, C, and D automatically. You did not have to think about those steps. They just appeared.
So when you write the message, you write: "We should do A, which means E."
To you, that sentence is complete. The connection is clear.
But the other person does not have B, C, and D. They only have what you wrote: A and E.
They are standing at point A, looking at point E, with no idea how to get there.
What the other person sees
When someone without ADHD reads your message, they try to follow your logic step by step.
They see: "We should do A."
Okay, they think. That makes sense.
Then they see: "Which means E."
Wait, they think. How did we get to E?
They reread the message. They look for the connection. It is not there.
So they assume one of two things:
- You left out important information.
- The idea does not actually make sense.
Neither of those is true. You did not leave anything out. The idea does make sense.
You just did not realize that the middle steps only existed in your head.
Why this happens with ADHD
ADHD brains are associative. They make connections fast—sometimes too fast to track.
When you think about A, your brain does not methodically move to B, then C, then D. It jumps. A triggers a memory, which connects to a pattern, which links to E. The whole chain fires in less than a second.
That speed is useful. It is why ADHD brains are good at seeing patterns, making creative connections, and solving problems in unexpected ways.
But it creates a communication problem.
When you try to explain your thinking, you are translating a non-linear process into linear language. And in that translation, steps disappear.
You do not notice they are missing because your brain automatically fills them back in when you reread what you wrote.
Example 1: Suggesting a solution
What you write:
We should move the meeting to Thursday. That way we can finalize everything before the weekend.
What your brain did:
- A: Move the meeting to Thursday
- B: (unspoken) The report is due Friday
- C: (unspoken) We need the meeting feedback to finish the report
- D: (unspoken) If we meet Thursday, we have Friday to incorporate changes
- E: We can finalize everything before the weekend
What the other person sees:
We should move the meeting to Thursday. That way we can finalize everything before the weekend.
They do not know:
- Why Thursday specifically
- What needs to be finalized
- Why the weekend matters
To you, the connection is obvious. To them, it is a leap.
What would make it clear:
We should move the meeting to Thursday. The report is due Friday, and we'll need time to incorporate feedback before submitting. If we meet Thursday, we'll have Friday to finalize everything.
Now the other person has B, C, and D. They can follow your reasoning.
Example 2: Explaining a problem
What you write:
The current process isn't working. We need to automate this.
What your brain did:
- A: The current process isn't working
- B: (unspoken) It takes 3 hours every week
- C: (unspoken) It's manual and error-prone
- D: (unspoken) Automation would eliminate both problems
- E: We need to automate this
What the other person sees:
The current process isn't working. We need to automate this.
They do not know:
- What specifically is not working
- Why automation is the solution
- What problem automation solves
What would make it clear:
The current process isn't working—it takes 3 hours every week and we keep making errors because it's all manual. Automating it would save time and eliminate the mistakes.
Now the reasoning is visible.
Example 3: Making a request
What you write:
Can you send me the file before the call?
What your brain did:
- A: I need the file
- B: (unspoken) I want to review it before we discuss it
- C: (unspoken) The call is at 2pm
- D: (unspoken) I need at least an hour to review
- E: Send it before the call
What the other person sees:
Can you send me the file before the call?
They do not know:
- Which file
- Which call
- How much "before" (an hour? five minutes?)
What would make it clear:
Can you send me the budget file before our 2pm call? I'd like to review it first so we can discuss specifics.
Now the request has context.
Why you do not catch this yourself
When you reread your own message, your brain does not see what is actually written. It sees what you meant.
Your brain automatically fills in the missing steps. B, C, and D reappear. The message feels complete because your brain is completing it for you.
That is why other people's confusion feels frustrating. To you, the message is clear. You cannot see what is missing because your brain keeps putting it back.
The working memory factor
ADHD often comes with working memory challenges. Working memory is what holds information in your mind while you are using it.
When you are writing, your working memory is juggling:
- What you want to say
- What you have already said
- What the other person knows
- What context they need
That is a lot to track. And ADHD working memory does not always hold all of it at once.
So you focus on the main points—A and E—and the middle steps slip out of your working memory before they make it into the message.
You did not intentionally skip them. They just were not there when you were writing.
How to catch the missing steps
You cannot always catch them yourself. Your brain will keep filling in the gaps when you reread.
But you can use strategies that do not rely on your brain seeing what is missing.
Strategy 1: Assume the other person knows nothing
Before you send, ask yourself: "If this person had no context at all, would this make sense?"
Not "Do they actually have no context?" but "Would this message work if they did?"
If the answer is no, add context.
Strategy 2: Say the "obvious" part out loud
The step that feels too obvious to say is usually the step you need to say.
If you think "Well, obviously they know X," write X anyway.
What is obvious to you is not always obvious to someone who is not inside your head.
Strategy 3: Explain the "because"
ADHD brains often skip the "because." You state the conclusion without stating the reasoning.
Before you send, check: Did I say why?
- "We should do X" → "We should do X because Y"
- "This isn't working" → "This isn't working because Y"
- "I need X" → "I need X because Y"
The "because" is usually where the missing steps are hiding.
Strategy 4: Use a tool to add the bridges
If you have written something and you are not sure whether the logic is clear, Formalizer can help. It is not about making the message longer. It is about making sure the connections you see in your head are visible in the message.
Sometimes you just need something to point out where the gaps are.
Strategy 5: Voice it out, then write it down
ADHD brains often explain things better out loud than in writing.
When you talk, you naturally add more context because you are responding to an imagined listener. When you write, you are responding to your own thoughts, so the context stays internal.
Try explaining your idea out loud first (or to a voice recorder), then write down what you said. You will often find that the spoken version includes the missing steps.
When jumping ahead is actually useful
This is not about fixing your brain. Your brain's ability to make fast connections is not a flaw.
The leaps are what make you good at:
- Seeing solutions other people miss
- Connecting ideas across different domains
- Solving problems creatively
- Spotting patterns quickly
The goal is not to stop thinking in leaps. The goal is to notice when you need to build a bridge for someone else to follow.
A quick self-check
Before you send a message, ask:
-
Did I explain why, or just what?
If you only said what you want or what you think, add why. -
Would this make sense to someone who was not in the room when I had this thought?
If no, add the context that was in the room with you. -
Did I assume they know something I did not say?
If yes, say it. -
Is there a "because" missing?
If you made a claim or a request without explaining the reasoning, add it.
The bottom line
Your brain is fast. That is not a problem.
The problem is that messages are slow. They have to go step by step.
When your brain jumps from A to E, the message needs to carry B, C, and D with it.
You are not bad at communicating. You are just translating a non-linear process into a linear format.
And sometimes, the translation needs a little more detail than your brain thinks it does.